The Feeling that Comes on the Cusp of a Future

Been thinking about my future lately. Never really done that, to tell the truth. I've been blessed with God and man alike throwing things my way; giving me things to do. Thought I might want to be a Philosophy professor one day, didn't want to spend that much time in pure academic class. Thought I might go fly for the Air Force, afraid of heights. Thought I might be missionary, too rooted in my relations. So I spent months praying on the topic.

I say to you all now, my prayers may have been answered. I prayed for a calling; for God to make within me something clean to use. I think, I'm still not sure, that God has done that. I don't want to share what it is right now, but what I want to share is that, for the first time ever, I know the feeling of standing on the cusp of a true and long-lasting future.

Search Me!

Lord! Search Me!
I cry in the darkness,
fumbling as does the half-blind man,
with blindfold over my face.

I seek the light of your hand,
the Light of the World,
so that it may show me my way.
Search for me in this Labyrinth.

When you find me,
Search my heart.
You know my iniquities.
You know my virtue.

In cold metal, you see art.
In empty houses, you see abundance.
For all things are made great
Through You, Oh God!

Unveil my eyes!
Heal my ailments!
Oh God, that I would follow you
All my days and nights!

Search my heart, oh God!
Make within me
Something clean.
Bring me home to your Shalom.