Feeling Lost

I can't help but feel like I've fallen off the face of the world now that I'm back on campus again. Kinda hurts that the people who were always telling me they missed me while I was gone pretty much welcomed me back and never gave me a second look since. I get treated more like a novelty item now than an actual person. There's a few people who still recognize me as some kind of human being, to them I'm more than grateful. You'd think I'd have fallen from the face of the planet rather than have gone abroad for the semester. Seems like the people who were most excited for me are the ones least interested in me now.

Still...

It's very strange to be reconciling the life I've lived the past six months (self-sufficient and independent, yet overwhelmingly lonely). I've felt more like a returning exile since classes started than a traveler come home. I still feel the aches of ostracization as though I had been voted into going abroad. Yet at the same time, I've been longing to come back so much that I've broken into tears over it before. Settling myself is going to be hard these next few months and I just don't have the time to do it either. I think this may completely disillusion me for the remainder of my time at Covenant.